June 2009 (weight 208)

December 2008 (weight 250 lbs)

Slowly but Surely

Well I am down to 208lbs for a total of 41.2lbs since january. I can't wear anything in my closet - that's good if you have money to go buy new stuff. :) I don't. We are so broke right now, we can't even afford to move to a cheaper place to rent. Good grief!!
Anyway, my workout session Friday was the bomb!!! I went through the circuit 3 times within an hour and I was stoked!!! I didn't get a t-shirt though, because I can't do the lunges, which is a part of the circuit. He said that he would have to find something else for me to do in its place. He was pretty amazed that I had even completed the circuit 3 times within the hour. he said that I obliterated (sp?) it. he said it even kind of "pissed" him off a little because he didn't think I would be able to do it. LOL That was cool for me! He wants to up my exercise - I said "heck No!" I have decided to comtinue my training with him. It is worth every penny. Now all I need to do is talk to him about how to train for the races that I want to participate in. Wish me luck!!!

Well, I am finally down to 210. What a relief to be over this plateau. My trainer was tough on me Friday. I don't know how many times I called him names and told him to shut up. It was hilarious sfterwards...but not while he was making me do those exercises. I know that he has to push me too my limit or I will never succeed. It just amazes me every week how far my limit is! Next Friday instead of doing cardio first, we are going to attempt the circuit 3 times. If you complete it 3 times within an hour, you get a free t-shirt. I want that t-shirt!!!! There are only a few people who have been able to complete the cicuit 3 times within an hour. I would LOVE to do that. I guess that gives me another goal to work on. First goal: Running the race for Madeline Grace Hopkins Foundation 2) making the circuit 3 times within an hour. maybe later on down the road I will attempt boot camp - but not right now.. LOL

It has been 2 months since my last post. I am still hanging in there. I guess I have spent the last 2 months playing with 5lbs. I am now at 213. Still would like to be at 200lbs. by the time school starts back.
I have started working with my trainer and he is kicking my butt!! The first training session was pretty easy and when he figured out that I could do more than he thought, well.....he "layed" it on me the next training session. I was sore for 3 days. He keeps going up on my cardio level which really pushes me to my limit. Last Friday he made me do 40 minutes on level 4 and then had me do 15 minutes on level 5! Are you freakin' kidding me????? I had just started doing level 4 and I was only up to 25 minutes. I made it through both of those grueling cardios and then while I went to "pass out" in the bathroom, LOL...he set up what is called "the circuit." That was another hour of weightlifting, situps, pushups, leg lifts...etc. Oh yeah, I had to do that twice :0 I really liked that. The cardio I can do without.
Well, it seems that this trainer has taken an interest in my journey to lose weight, because he comes over and sets my cardio whenever he sees me in the gym....he keeps going up and up and up !! Right now he has me diong 30 minutes on level 5. He saus to be ready for tomorrow, because he is going to make me do 40 on level 5. I hope he doesn't mind if I throw up while doing it. Ugh!
I think the thing that gets me most, is "do I want the weight loss this bad?" I mean, who wants to put themselves through this? I enjoy working out, but guess I wasn't pusing myself hard enough. I'll give him his 5 weeks and then we will see what type of results I get and decided what to do from there.
I'm exhausted!!!

?

So I haven't posted in what...10 days? what do you suppose that could mean? Well, usually when I don't post, it means I am having a difficult time and the last thing I want to have to do is confront it. Saturday the 4th, I gained 3 lbs. My first gain in 11 weeks...not bad...discouraging, but not bad. Anyway, this Saturday I lost what I had gained. That leads me to today. I am having the absolutely worst time with the brownies and frosting. I am what you call a "closet eater." A closet eater will eat like they are suppose to as long as they are around other people. then when they are by themselves, they eat things they are not suppose to. that's me right now. i could make myself say no to the brownies, but I don't want to. We had them all out of the house...then I had to run by the grocery store this afternoon to get dogfood and some more WW meals...guess what I allowed myself to do? Yep, get the brownies. How pathetic am I? Yes, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but I still want my brownies. Is it ok to say..."I will work out extra time this week?" If so, how far into this eating bad and working out extra should I go?
I know some people would say, "hey call a friend or a buddy." well, I have a problem with that because if I call a friend or a buddy then that means I am failing on my own. What do I do? "Hey _____ I want to eat brownies, will you talk me out of it?" Whatever....
Also, now that people are starting to notice that I am losing weight, I sometimes feel so pressured to not "mess up" or gain. Why does all of this have to be so complicated or am I making it that complicated? I guess in a few days I can pull myself back together. What is wrong with me??????

Told You So

That's all I am going to say....

Who Doesn't Want To Weigh In Tomorrow?

ME!
I started today...uugghhh! Know what that means? I will probably show a gain tomorrow morning when I weigh in. Not a good thought. I am on my way to the gym now to work out. I don't even feel like working out today. I don't feel like doing anything....

Who Said It Was Easy?

What a week this has been! Who ever said this would be easy?
This is probably the worst and hardest week I have had since I started on the program again in January. I am at home on spring break and there is nothing worse that staying at home. It has done nothing but rained which also makes it hard. I ate brownies and frosting (my downfall) every night this week. Why? I have no idea. I have had a craving for them. Did I feel guilty afterwards? No. I actually felt better. It makes me think of a drug addict getting a fix. Maybe I need a brownie fix ever day. ha ha I have continued to do my exercising. Last night I worked out on the arc trainer for 30 minutes and then to the treadmill for 15. I walk 3 minutes and jog for 1 minute. It is absolutely killing me - but it is something I have to do. Right now I am trying to keep myself busy with laundry, housework, and crossword puzzles so that I do not venture into the kitchen and start snacking. I'm not even hungry. I will just have to continue to keep control over the situation. It is so hard to do~!

Are You Ready For This ????

For the first time since I was in highschool, I ran. It was as horrific as it was comical. I wore shorts to the gym on Friday - not a good idea...as I worked out on the arc trainer, my shorts kept "riding" up my legs. After about 20 minutes of having to stop to pull my shorts back to where they belong, I decided that I would walk on the treadmill. As I walked on the treadmill, I thought...hmmm....not bad, I wonder if I could run on this thing. Its Friday night and maybe a dozen people in the gym. if I make a complete idiot out of myself many people won't know about it. So, I walked, and walked, and walked..I kept telling myself.."OK, when it gets to 15 minutes - run for a minute. I finally decided to do it. It wasn't bad..it actually felt exhilierating to be running. I guess it is one of those things that you don't miss until you are able to do it again...anyway, everything was going great and then...
do you know how it feels when you are on an elevator and it stops??? and everything on your body kind of goes up and then PLOPS down??? those of you who have weight on you know what I am talking about, Well...I still have some poundage above and on my butt. And I could feel it go up and PLOP down and go up and PLOP down. I could only imagine how I looked from behind. Thought #1: Don't run on the front row...run on the back :)
My husband was actually behind me and said he didn't see it...he might not have seen it but I sure felt it. LOL
Well went I went to weigh in today I was prepared for the worst. Remember how I told you I ate this week, well, I am suppsed to get a visit from good ole mother nature on tuesday - with all of that being said I was very surprised when the lady told me that I had dropped 4.4 lbs. this week. I had to get back on the scale to make sure she was right. I can't make head or tails of what is making me lose and how much - I guess it is good to keep guessing, then you keep doing what you've always done cause you know it is working. I am now down 34.4 lbs. I am down from 249.2 to 215. Exciting...I am 2 lbs ahead of schedule. I still want to make 200 by the end o fthe school year. maybe.....

Reality or Excuses???

So I haven't posted in about 2 weeks. I am now down 29.8 lbs. I guess I should have taken my socks off when I weighed in Saturday and I could have lost the other .2lbs to make 30 lbs. Maybe I will do that this weekend. :)
Reality or Excuses? Why in the world did I choose that heading? I AM HUNGRY..... I haven't been hungry for the last 8 weeks, so why am I all of a sudden starving at ALL hours of the day? Am I really hungry? I think so, usually when my stomach growls that means hunger. I have told myself that I have built up enough muscle, from working out, that it has "kicked" my metabolism up another level and I am burning more calories. That's what I hear happens when you build muscle...or am I losing control and thinking that I am hungry? So, of course, like any obese person, I opt with the muscle theory and ate brownies and Zaxby's Sunday night - not our normal eat out night. Psssttt...I ate Chef Boyardee and brownies on Sat night too. :(
So, I did like my WW leader tells us...GET OVER IT and start back over the next day. I did. I stayed hungry on Monday. then, Tuesday comes around. At the end of the school day I was starving. I ate 2 Fibre One bars. Not bad, right....well as I was cooking supper I "munched" on about half a box of Cheez Nips - love those cheez nips. Oh, and I ate the rest of the frosting that I had bought this weekend for the brownies - I told myself that I needed to get it out of the house so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it - what an excuse.
I have started over AGAIN and have done quite well so far. I took popcorn for my afternoon snack.
My goal, now that I have net my 5%, 10%, and 25 lb loss, is to go 16 weeks without a gain. I am at 9 weeks so far. I so hope that me getting off track does not make me gain weight. Surely one or two slip ups can't be that bad? right?
I read the perfect article in the WW magazine the other day. There was an article on a lady who had lost 206 lbs. She is my height and was about the same weight. She said that her biggest obstacle was realizing that this is a life change and that she would mess up with her eating. She said that she had to learn that it was OK to slip up, but she immediately had to forgive and forget and get back on track the next day. Then she made the comment...like, if you eat a box of doughnuts, forget about it and get back on track the next day... It made me feel "human" to read that someone else had encountered what I am encountering now. Its good to know that I am not some 'freak" because I do splurge on things sometimes. I have to tell myself every day that it is ok and I am a work in progress.

Reflect, Evaluate, Solve

I have been doing a lot of thinking and evaluating this last week. Why is it when I get to this point, I relapse and end up gaining everything back? I think I have finally come to the answer to that question. Why do we ever decide to lose weight? Usually we are uncomfortable...nothing fits...feel tired... should I go on? Well, I have lost enough weight and inches that all of my clothes are hanging on me. I even have a pair of pants that I had to pin the other day. Since all of my clothes are big, I am comfortable in them. Due to being comfortable...I think that it plays a huge mental part in realpsing. I have to constantly remind myself that this is not a diet and it is definitely not temporary. I have to remind myself that this is now my life. Counting, weighing, planning, exercising...all of it is now part of my daily routine. Baseball for my 6 year old begins in a few weeks and I am worried about how it is going to interfere with my gym schedule. I'm sure I will figure something out.
Thanks Lucia for your words of encouragement. You are a wonderful WW leader.

HOORAY HOORAY 1/3 of the way there!!!

Well, I met 2 goals yesterday!
I lost 3 lbs which enabled me to make my 10% goal and I made my 25lb mark. I am so excited! The only drawback I can see about Weight Watchers is that once you hit your 25lb goal, the next reward or recognition that you get is when you lose 50 lbs. I think there ought to be a 30 and a 40lb reward, don't you? Maybe that will help people get past that 25lb point.
I am where I was at 2 years ago when I relapsed and gained all of my weight back. I think about that every day. I know that I have to dig deep inside and pull the fighter out of me. I have got to keep going. My goal right now is to get to 200lbs. by the end of May. I have 23lbs. to go. Some days I feel like I will be able to make it, other days I feel like it is an eternity away.
I know that all I can do is keep it up and trudge forward.

Finally - some results

Since I have posted last, I have lost another 7 lbs. I have now lost 23 lbs. I can't complain...since it has only been 6 weeks. I began working on the Arc Trainer at the gym and love it. I can burn 300 calories in 30 minutes! That probably contributed to my 4 lb weight loss this week. Next week my goal is to hit my 10% goal (24 lbs.) and hit my 25 lb goal. How hard can it be to lose 1 lb? Well, if mother nature has anything to say about it... a lot! I am excited because yesterday I bought a size 3x shirt and it was too big. I was very excited about that. Have a great week and I will let you know if I make my goal or not!

Not a happy Camper

I only lost 1.6 lbs. this week. I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!!! I know some of you are thinking..."has she lost her mind?'" " I would love to lose 1.6 lbs."
Well, I am not happy, because I have worked my butt off at the gym and estaen everything like I was supposed to. Why only 1 lb? That's nonsense. can you tell I'm frustrated?

Still Hanging In There!

All is well on the homefront..ha..ha

I am still going to the gym 3 days a week and I love it. yes, I guess I am crazy for liking it. I like to ride the bicycle best. I can do 6 miles in 30 minutes. It doesn't sound like much, but it is for me. I have not been sore yet from the weight workout, so I guess I need to ask one of the trainers next week about that. I have lost 15.4 lbs. in 3 weeks. I cannot complain one bit. I have also found that if I don't keep it in my house, then I don't eat it. So, we keep the "bad" stuff out of the house. I have only gotten into Adam's "goobers" peanut butter/jelly. For those who know me, you know that peanut butter is my downfall. Why? I have no idea. Anyway, I go weigh in again on Saturday. I will keep you posted on how that goes.

Fat Girl Works Out

I tell you, yesterday was a day. I did good all day with my eating and then last night, like a dummy, decided to get on the scale. What was I thinking? How stupid is that? It showed 240, so I was not happy. I sat in the recliner and contemplated on the fact that in the cabinet was a container of carameol frosting. Do you know how loud frosting can sound when it calls your name and it does not take take "no" for an answer. I went and ate a couple of spoonfuls. But, guess what?!?!? It was olny 2 points for 2 TBSP. So I did not go over my points. I just traded my 8oz of yogurt for 2 Tbsp of frosting. Good ??? Well, it was last night. :)
Anyway, tonight was workout night at the gym. I worked on the weights, then got on the bicycle for my cardio. I rode for 10 minutes and was exhausted. those who know me, know that I do not like to be hot. I had started sweating and was ready to get off of the bicycle. I thought, well I made it 10 minutes, lets try for 15. Well 15 rolled around and I though...'hey I'm 5 minutes awat from 20.' so I kept peddaling. before I knew it I had bicycled for 30 minutes. Actually ended up going 5 miles. It was a goo dworkout.
Well my kids are fighting like cats and dogs and the 2 year old can't do anything but walk around and cry so I need to go get them settled for bed.

Weigh In Day!!!!

Well, I weighed 239.8 today, which means I lost 9.4 lbs. last week. I know....I know...I had a stomach virus which probably contributed to the large weight loss, but I also stuck by my points with the Weight Watcher's plan. Kerry and I ate at Sylvia's tonight. I am stuffed. We also ate brownies. No, I did not count my points. I figure one night a week can't hurt, right? OUr weight watcher's meeting was interesting today. We talked about identifying real hunger and emotional hunger. I know that is something that I am having to learn to tell the difference from. Anyway, I am exhausted and FULL. have a good night!

I know I said that I would post every night, but Tuesday night I came down with the horrific stomach virus that is going through the schools right now. It has been 7 years since I have had a stomach virus and I thought I was going to die! I was in the bed all day yesterday sleeping and being sick. I still felt so bad last night, that I went ahead and stayed out today also. My scale shows that I dropped 9 lbs. becasue of this virus. how wild is that. I want to lose weight, but not like this. :)

Since Wednesday is our gym night and I was sick, we are going to the gym on Friday night. We have Bible group on Thursdays and I am still feeling bad, so we won't go tonight. I actually miss going to the gym. How crazy is that???

Anyway, I am going to get back on the couch and rest. have a great day!

I'm Back

As you are well aware, it has been 2 months since I have posted. No, I'm not dead..just really busy. Having this blog has made me realize that I need to take some time for myself each day. It is sad when I can't get to the computer for 10-15 minutes by myself just to write on my blog.

In the 2 months since I have posted, I have not been to Weight Watchers and it shows. I went this Saturday and weighed 249.2 lbs. So, I have gained 16 lbs. since Thanksgiving. I could lie and say that I don't know why I gained it, but let's be honest...We All Know Why We Gain Weight!! I am to the point that I am swelling so bad it is uncomfortable for me to wear any type of closed toe shoe, including tennis shoes. If you've never had your feet or ankles swell, then you wouldn't understand.

I joined a gym on Saturday also. Fitness Plus, here in Milledgeville. It is great and I am excited! It has childcare, which is a biggie to me since I have 3 children. The thing I love the MOST is the Ladies Fitness room. That's right!! Ladies ONLY...that's where I will spend the majority of my time, unless I lose about 50 lbs., then I might venture out into the "big" area where most everyone works out. Bo (the owner) walked me through all of the cardio and weight equipment on Saturday and today will be the 1st day that I get a good workout. I am pumped and ready to go. I know that I will need to do cardio as well as the weights and I will just have to make myself do it. I feel so comfortable in that gym. I don't feel like everyone is looking at me and going.."OMG! Can you believe that girl is in here??? man I hope she don't fall out from exercising..." You know that some gyms will make you feel like this. Anyway, they have a lot of classes also. My husband and I want to take a spinning class. I have heard about how much fun they are. Should I get into shape first? Or just go for it?

Oh well, I need to get to some heavy duty house cleaning - with clorox and lysol. 2 of my children have had the dreaded stomach virus this weekend and I feel the need to wipe down and spray down EVERYTHING they have touched!

have a wonderful day and I will make a resolution to post every night.

Hey Becky!! You are going to have to show me how to add pictures and such. I'm not as savvy as you on this blog.