What a Shame!

What a week! I haven't posted in 2 days, because my 13 year old decided until the last minute to do a project that he had 2 weeks to complete; therefore he has had the computer for the last 2 nights.
Last night was a great night. I have figured it out...if I make it through the night then I am OK. If I don't, then it is disastrous...don't think so? well.....
On Monday night my husband and my 2 younger children decided to go to bed about 8:30 which left me up all alone with the kitchen. For someone who is on a diet, this is a very dangerous thing. :) needless to say, I pondered on the idea of getting into the chocolate for about 30 minutes. Instead of doing what I had told my weight watchers leader I would do, I faulted and went in to the kitchen. Oh My Goodness!!! What did I eat? Are you ready for this? I had a 2 point chocolate weight watcher bar...still wanted something, so I ate 2 of my 1 point peanut butter bars, still wanted something, so then I ate about 4 miniature Hershey candy bars that were hidden in the freezer, then I remembered that there were some cosmic brownies in the cupboard - so i ate 2 of those.
Those of you reading this are probably going OMG! this girl is sick!! Well, if you are a person who is overweight and struggles with eating...you will understand. It is a sickness..A horrible sickness. I think I would rather be an alcoholic than eat like I do.
I went to bed that night feeling miserable, defeated, and ashamed. I don't understand why I am having such a hard time getting hold on this. When I was in college (which was only 8 years ago) I was dieting and exercising and was at a comfortable 150 lbs. I was still overweight for my height, but I was at a comfortable weight and felt good about myself. I don't know where I found the willpower to lose the weight back then. I know that I can do it..but how far do I have to reach inside my soul to find that determination and inner strength?
I talk to God about it. But just because he and I talk, does not mean that he will magically make the weight disappear. he is there for he to talk to and lean on so that he can help me through this.
Well, I had a good day Tuesday and today. I am furious at my husband tonight, because he decided that he wanted brownies tonight and he is in the kitchen making them. Now how in the world do I turn those away? keep me in your thoughts tonight...maybe I won't go on a brownie binge.

What Are You Hungry For??

I wanted to post this information that I heard at Weight Watcher's today so that I can look at it and remember.

What Are You Really Hungry For...?
L - Lonely
B - Boredom
S - Sad or Stressed

What does that spell?
(Pounds)

You Got It!!!

Covered Eyes

As you can see, I have not posted in a couple of days. Mostly because I have been sick all week and barely had enough energy to take care of the kids.
Anyway, I weighed in today and lost 3.4 lbs. Its good considering the things I have eaten this week. I definitely have not kept up with ALL of my points. I made a goal this week to write down EVERYTHING..even if I didn't want to. :)
So that leads me to the headline for today..I ate Zaxby's for lunch...not a big deal, right?? Yeah..Right!! I must have been completely nieve or either blind to not realize the amount of calories and fat grams that comes with eating at Zaxbys. I ate 4 chicken fingers, a small order of fries (not even the whole order) a container of zax sauce, ranch sauce and 2 mini potato rolls (for my chicken). I figured I might have used 10-15 points...maybe 20 at the most. Imagine my surprise when I looked up the information and realized that I had used 29 POINTS!!!! Can you believe that?? Holy Cow!!! No wonder I am so fat! I guess when you don't look at the nutritional information then it is so easy to ignore the calories and fat in food and drinks. I also realized that my favorite Java Mocha Chip Frappuchino from Starbucks consisted of 560 calories and 22 grams of fat. Amazing isn't it?
Well - 2 new goals this week
#1 - Drink ALL of my water (which I haven't gotten off to a good start today
#2 - Journal EVERYTHING I put into my mouth.
If I do this, it will be interesting to see what I will lose the next time I weigh in.

Good Until Evening

It seems like my days are great (during the day) and then evening comes and the food starts taunting me. I did exactly what I was supposed to do yesterday (except drink my water). I was doing fine until Ethan's football game. For the first time, it was really cold out on the field and no better thing can warm you up than food...right? Well, as the game ended my husband asked me to run over to the concession stand and get an order of nachos. Of course, I did. We ate on the nachos. Ethan had a hamburger that he did not finish and I ended up taking about 4 bites of his hamburger (it was wonderful). I finally told my husband to throw away the hamburger so that I would not eat anymore of it.
Here is where a vicious cycle begins...I was hungry, ate fattening nachos and then took 4 bites of a hamburger. At this point I am figuring that I probably had eaten up the rest of my daily points. The problem is...I was still hungry. I should have come home and eaten the fatfree hotdogs and vegentables like I had planned. Anyway, I ended up making a low fat sandwich. but then I wanted something sweet. Forget that I have 14 containers of yogurt in the refridgerator, I ended up mixing up about 2 tablespoons of peanut butter with some jelly and eating it.
I really feel like if I had eaten what I had planned, then none of that would have happened. Hopefully next time I will remember and not do something so crazy.

Begin Again

Well I lost 2.8 lbs. last week. Good I guess. I should have lost more. Should I be happy or aggravated? I think I ate up most of the house on Saturday (not really) it felt like it though. We did cook some brownies with chocolate frosting. yum..yum..
I did well today for lunch. I did not eat breakfast, which I am finding out is a bad thing. If I don't eat breakfast, then I am so hungry by lunch time that I eat everything in sight. I ate good for lunch, but supper was another issue. We were supposed to have healthy pita pizzas, and then we decided to have Chef Boyardee pizzas. Can you believe we drove all the way to twon (which is 11 miles one way) to buy the fattening stuff? I didn't do too bad, I don't guess. i am stuffed though. Tomorrow morning I will make sure to eat breakfast. I have also made it my goal to drink all of my water this week.

Well, the last couple of days have been pretty good. Mornings are great and lunchtime is even good. Supper and after supper seem to be a huge struggle for me. I HAD a jar of pear perserves. can you guess where it is? Yep! In my stomach. I also love peanut butter and jelly and I will get up in the middle of the night to mix up a batch and eat it. I even had my husband hide the peanut butter the other day and of course I found it. Fat people find food everywhere. ha ha
I made a batch of taco Soup from the weight watchers recipe and love it! I eat 2 servings at a time though. It is 1 point for 1 cup, probably 3 for 2 cups. It is spicy and filling. Yum..yum.. I am eating it tonight after supper. I probably shouldn't eat at all though.
I ate 3 peanut butter and ritz crackers with my son and snacked on the bible study group's ham and cheese tray. The snacking probably messes me up worse than the meals. I love to snack.
I am very proud of myself today though. We ate "worms" in my classroom today to end our unit on How to Eat fried Worms. We used hotdogs for the worms. I love fattening hotdogs and was VERY tempted to eat one. I was so proud of myself when I was able to make it through the activity without snacking on it.
I am having d=great difficulty drinking my water. I guess because I am constantly talking with the students, it is hard to drink water at the same time. That is my goal for next week - to drink the water that I am supposed to drink.
I guess I better go for now. Bible group will be over in a few and I have to get all the kids ready for bed.

As you have noticed, I have not posted in 2 days. I guess you can draw the conclusion that I haven't eaten as well as I should; so therefore I haven't posted. Anyway, 2 of my friends told me that they had read my post so I figured I needed to get on track before they begin asking why I am not posting. :) I did well today. The only thing I had the hardest time with is the sweet tea. I love sweet tea and have had 3 glasses today. Water? Haven't had any. I stayed within my points today. I actually have 7 left. I know that isn't a good thing, but I don't feel right cramming in 7 points this late at night. If all days were as easy as today, things would be great. I hope I have as easy of a day tomorrow. Oh, by the way, I lost .6 of a lb. last week. Better than nothing, right?

Has She Lost Her Mind?

Has She Lost Her Mind??? That is probably the question you are asking yourself - especially if you know me. :) Sad to say; yes I have lost my mind. For the last 7 years I have struggled with my weight and am finally insane enough from the weight gain that I have resulted to this. I figure that if I blog my attempt to lose weight, it will hold me accountable. One of 2 things will happen, either it will help me lose the weight, or you can chalk this up to another failure and you will be able to talk about my horrific experience behind my back. :) Either way, I figured I would give it a try.


I am not really sure how I want to begin this. Not even 100% sure if I want to do this, but here it goes.


I guess the first thing I need to do is tell a little bit about myself. I am 36 years old, married for 17 years, have 3 children, a dog, and a lot of weight to lose. I live in Georgia and am a teacher. I love my job, especially the days we get to have "treats" for holidays or special events. Sound familiar? I have been pretty small all of my life until I got married. Then like most people, I gained weight...slowly...but I gained. After being married for 4 years, I was pregnant with my first child. I weighed 198lbs. the day he was born. I am 5'2". I lost the weight when I entered college. After my first year of teaching, with my first son , now 7, my husband and I decided to have another child. By the end of this pregnancy, I weighed an astounding 252lbs. I weighed 147 the day I found out I was pregnant. For the last 6 years, and another child, I find myself at 244lbs (not pregnant).


Oh the countless diets I have tried. Countless is the best way to describe it. Last year at the beginning of the school year I started at my local Weight Watchers and decided to give it a try - why not? nothing else was working. Within 8 weeks, I had lost 42lbs. I was really surprised becasue I was eating a lot of food and not deprived..I was even eating out once a week. :) Well, we moved and you know what happens when you pack up the kitchen.. you're right!! FAST FOOD. Within weeks of eating fast food during my move, I gained back most of my weight. It was amazing and scary at how fast the fast food made the weight reappear. So for the last year I have yo-yo dieted. I think I am finally uncomfortable and frustrated enough to do something about it.


I started back to Weight Watchers last Saturday and was ready to go.....then Sunday came and then Monday and then Tuesday, with me promising myself that with each day I would start the next day nice and fresh and ready to count my points. Here it is, Friday night and I have eaten a large pizza with my husband and smelling chocolate chip cookies cooking in the oven while I write this to you. How sad is that? I will go in to Weight Watchers tomorrow with my head held high (because I know I will see a gain on the scale) and begin again.



I will let you know how bad it is. :0